My Movie Reviews

300

2007-08-28T18:55:00.000-07:00

This post contains a spoiler. Don’t read “My Complaint” if you don’t want to know the ending. I separated it with a large picture from the film. Everything before the LARGE picture is fairly innocuous. Sorry for using caps but I don’t want to discourage readers.

Brip Blap Movies is an insightful Blog for movie reviews, and I want to say that my article is not an attack on his 300 post in any way. All of his points were valid and I understand his disappointments. I shared some of them but it wasn’t enough to ruin the movie for me. 300 is one of my favorite films released this year. I would also like to say that while I disagree with him, I recognize that my disagreements arise from personal taste. It is not a matter of who’s right or wrong. Brip Blap had this to say about Frank Miller’s 300.

300 is short on plot

He is correct. The 300 Spartans contains very little plot. But I have to be honest. Plot can be overrated. Movies like the Saw series have so much plot and plot twists they make me want to puke. I do enjoy plot-driven movies. The Corruptor is a plot-heavy police-drama (Pulp-Asian Style) that might be my favorite Asian movie off all time with the exception maybe of Big Trouble in Little China.

Blue Skelton’s Response:

Plot just gets in the way of the killing. I don’t go to see action movies for the plot. I go to an action film to see blood, violence, and special effects. Let’s take the greatest barbarian movie ever made: Conan the Barbarian. The plot of Conan the Barbarian was basically used for comic relief. When I went to see 300, I wasn’t looking for plot. I went to the theater to see 300 Spartans (bad-asses) along with a few Athenians (pussies) fight an army of one-million bloodthirsty Persian conquerors.

However Brip Brap and I did agree that there was way too much usage of slow-mo during the action scenes. Slow Motion is a lot more effective when it is used to highlight key moments of an intense, action sequence.

Alternating between real time and slow motion can achieve amazing results but watching everything in slow motion can be tedious. However, the perpetual slow motion did add to eerie effects of the movie to me. I would have preferred more real-time action though.

It was just an excuse to make a comic book movie

I am going to argue with him a little on semantics. I do not think that 300 was just another excuse to make a comic-book movie. It might have been an excuse to make a Frank Miller comic book movie. With the success of Sin City, it is not a surprising that the film execs at Warner Brothers would want to make a little bit more money off lucrative-old Frank.

The acting was wooden

Once again, he is right. But I am going to have to make the same defense for the acting that I used for the plot. Talking just gets in the way of the killing. Bad acting made Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone who and what they are today.

It’s nice to have some good shit-talking before the killing but it’s not absolutely necessary. Plus, I thought that the humorous scenes were acted very well. Most of it though was wooden.

Sparta was a creepy place

What can I say except for the fact that Sparta was a creepy place? It was a nation of warriors under military rule and governed by the old gods. They submersed their children in wine to test their strength. If the baby survived, it was fit to be raised. If not it was chucked. I guess you would call this an early form of genetic engineering.

I have to give the film credit for its accuracy in certain portions. The film isn’t too terribly different from the original account. I enjoyed the victory or death (bushido) code of the Spartans. There is just something about an army of suicidal maniacs that brings a small tear to my eye.

My Main Complaint about 300

My teacher once said that if a “Gun is introduced in Act One, it has to go off by Act Five.” I am sick of movies leading up to these epic final scenes and then leaving me unfulfilled. 300 left me on the doorstep of what could have been the biggest and bloodiest action sequence of all time. Twenty-thousand Spartans were about to hack their way through the Persian army when the movie faded to black. I was pissed.

Hopefully, Warner Brothers will have enough to common sense to write 300 II: The Massacre (With a better title of course). Regardless, I know that I cannot wait to purchase the 300 DVD.

Shichin no Samurai or Seven Samurai

Photo Credits:
Photo of Leonidas with Sword courtesy of http://journals.aol.com/masshorrorbuff/mass-horror-buff/atom.xml
Photo of Spartan with shield courtesy of Worst Previews at http://www.worstpreviews.com/index.php
300 poster courtesy of www.vigorgraphics.net/blog/atom.xml
Large Photo by MCT Images

Miss Potter Review

2007-08-03T10:47:00.001-07:00

Amidst all the explosive blockbusters, Miss Potter is the best movie I have seen since Finding Neverland. In my mind, it beat out huge films like 300, The Pirates of the Caribbean, and The Order of the Phoenix. And, if you know my love for violence and dark humor in movies, this is a very, very big deal. It is Huge!

Miss Potter is the biographical story of Beatrix Potter who is possibly the most famous children’s author of all time with the exception of maybe JK Rowling or Doctor Seuss. Her works include the classics of my childhood. Classic tales (tails) such as The Tale of Peter Rabbit and The Tale of Two Bad Mice.

Renee Zellwegger and Ewan McGregor gave the best performances of their lives and as far as I am concerned, they have lived up to the high standards set by Johnny Depp in his portrayal of playwright, JM Barry in Finding Neverland. Miss Potter conjured some of the same magic and tears that I felt while watching Neverland.

Both movies were filled with magic of the best kind. It was innocent and childish magic. A child’s magic is concentrated and uncontrolled and is only limited by his or her imagination. It is a force that is not yet corrupted by foolish adults and their attempts to control the world around us. Sadly, we live in a world where anything that is controlled too quickly becomes corrupted.

Beatrix Potter’s books are to little girls what JM Barry’s play Peter Pan was to young boys. The greatest thing about both authors is that children of both sexes can enjoy their works. As a child, I spent a lot of time sneaking into Farmer Macgregor’s garden, but not nearly as much as I spent flying around Never-Neverland. Both authors have created timeless tales that captured the very nature of what is like to be young. And it was amazing how both films captured the imagination of the authors.

Miss Potter was a refreshing film that reminded me that films don’t need sword-wielding barbarians, high dollar special effects or epic battles against evil to be enjoyable. Miss Potter is a simple love story that reminded me of what it was like to be young.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Review

2007-08-03T10:44:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that I was a bit skeptical about Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie. The previous film was mediocre at best. The Goblet of Fire contained very little special effects or magic in general. I mean it’s a movie about wizards. I need more magic than just a few sparkly butterflies. But I am glad to say that they came through with flying colors with The Order of the Phoenix.

Warning this post contains Order of the Phoenix Spoilers. I apologize for doing it but it was necessary. The filmmakers made an excellent movie but they forgot to film one thing and at the end of this article, I must rectify that.

This movie met all my criteria for a successful film. Here are the top ten reasons I think that Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was the best film this year:

1. It was Dark

2. It had a well developed plot, no irrational Disney Moments. His parents couldn’t save him this time.

3. They finally threw down with some real magic, no more child magic.

4. Sirius Black aka Gary Oldman.

5. Harry finally confronts the darkness inside himself.

6. It had great CGI.

7. Harry gets pissed.

8. It has a great message: Friendship is what defines us.

9. JK Rowling is hot.

10. We actually got to see the dark lord for a change even though he looks ridiculous with no nose.

As far as I could see, the movie only had one flaw. There was a character that consistently made headlines throughout most of the series. That man was one Sirius Black. And yet his greatest moment of the entire series was overlooked in the final headlines so here it is. I hope that it honors him.

Notorious wizard, Sirius Black was murdered today by his cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange. Reports from Azkaban Prison state that she recently followed in her cousin’s footsteps to become only the second person to ever escape from Azkaban. After escaping from Azkaban, she joined the recently returned Lord Valdemort in a battle against an underground wizard resistance group named the Order of the Phoenix. During the battle Ms. Strange murdered her cousin, Sirius Black. Witnesses report that she hexed Sirius in the back. Sirius Black is survived by his god son, Harry Potter.